A Toe Tale

I am a leader. No, scrap that, I am the leader. I am taller and bigger than everyone else. All the other toes look up to me, because I am the Big Toe, Lord of the Left Foot. No one can antagonize me in beauty, movement and delicacy. Except that other toe. That one that dares to call himself Big Toe, the Lord of the Right Foot. He wants so much to imitate my superiority that even his name is a bad copy of mine.

That damn Big Toe, Lord of the Right Foot. He challenges me every moment. He tries to outrun me in every corner. One moment he is first and one moment he is second. Then, he is first again and then second again. It is always like that. It is so annoying that I have to prove my perfectness with each breath. I have to cast him down, once and for all.

It is a warm and sunny day in the middle of July. We move around that area that the Above Less Awesome Body Parts call it home. No idea what the difference of “home” and “out” is, but I like it here. Usually, we are free to roam without the annoying things the Not Toes From Above put on us. Shoes they call them. Stinky Jail, I call them. The only good thing of the Stinky Jail is that I don’t have to see the other Big Toe.

So, as any other usual warm and sunny day, we move about home without the Stinky Jails. Of course the race starts. Me first, then him, then me again. “You are getting fat!” I hear a cry from my right side.

“No, I am not! I am as slim as ever!” I replied back. I tried to think of a good, sassy answer, but all has been told before. It is time now to act. But how? And then I see it. Just in front of us and a bit to my left, there is a door. One of those huge things that goes away angrily every time that we approach. It is all the Toes fear. If I could defeat the door once and for ever… then I would be the Hero Toe. A hero is better than a Lord, right? Everyone will look up to me for my courage in addition to all my other traits. Yes, that is what I have to do.

Second Left Toe!” I called to my second in command. “Stir us to the Door”.

“The Door! No please, not to the Door!” cried in agony the Small Left Toe, the last of my line. “It is so mean!”

“That is why we go to the Door! I will fight the Door! And then no door will ever touch us again!” What the Small Left Toe had told was true… doors could be nasty. They had a grudge against us and whenever they could they would hit us and leave us bruised and in pain in the best case. But not this time. This time I will be victorious. I can feel it, deep inside me. This is my chance.

“But…” the other Toes tried to reason with me, but I stopped them immediately.

“Trust me! Have I ever led you wrongly?” Yes was the correct answer but they had bad memory. “This is our revenge time! To the Door!”

“To the Door!” shouted reluctantly my Second in command. “To the Door!” repeated the cry the rest and we stirred towards the Door.

It was painful. I don’t remember what happened, but I know it was fast and painful. And bloody. My nice nail broke off. It hurt so much. I don’t know what was the worse: the pain, the blood, the fuss of the Not Toes From Above Us. Maybe the mockery and the laughter of the other Big Toe. This time he won. But I will prove to him that I am the best Big Toe, Lord of the Left Foot.


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